Humour Politics

What Debate?

Micheál Martin Cartoon“The big issue here… The big issue…” says Micheál Martin, attempting to talk over someone in the RTÉ debate. I look forward to hearing him say that a lot more. Preferably on street corners.

Really, what is he doing in this studio? His party will be lucky to make it into opposition after this election, never mind government. His opinions are irrelevant, his policies fantasies.

But then the whole debate is a polite fiction. The election results seem to be pretty much a foregone conclusion, the only real thing at stake the precise relative strength of Fine Gael and Labour in the mix. So in effect we’re watching a debate between Gilmore and Kenny, with Martin there as punching bag. That’s a thought actually. If they just wrestled the fucker to the ground and took turns kicking the jam out of him the electorate could go to bed with a smile tonight. Miriam there keeping count of the points. “Nothing below the belt. Oh, go on then.”

But instead it’s just the usual three grown men bickering like siblings. Not only is it pointless, it is actually bad for democracy. I mean, it makes us fantasize about solving problems with violence. That can’t be good.

Mmm. Violence.

2 replies on “What Debate?”

I worry that as the media focuses on how much they love Enda and fixate on just how FG and Lab will share the goodies, FF will quietly slip in and claim a far larger share of seats than they deserve. They’re like Man Utd. You go out and score three goals against them, and they’ll come back with four. In the final five minutes. Don’t dare question my football analogies.

Fortunately you have me there. For all I know, that could be something Man Utd do every week. One day you must explain to me how the offside rule applies to corner kicks.

But yes, as I said last week I don’t expect Fianna Fáil to do as badly as… expected. Not as badly as I hope anyway. Certainly, not as badly as they deserve. People may be resolute when approached in public by pollsters, but in the privacy of the booth many will cave in to the wheedling, cajoling, nod-winking Fianna Fáiler in their head.

It calls into question the entire theory of the secret ballot. Some people ought never be left alone with a stubby pencil.

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